Friday, April 1, 2011

Hot Girl Friday: Much Ado About Biscuits

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Cate Blanchett. Some of you will claim that Cate isn?t ?sexy? enough to be on Hot Girl Friday. You?re so wrong. While Cate doesn?t have a trashy, vampy, sexpot allure, her allure is something so much more substantial. That?s it, really. Cate is Substance. She is Talent. She is Quality. And that?s sexy. Remember how Hot Girl Friday started - I was reading one of those ?Hot Girl? lists on some men?s site and I realized that I found none of their hot women attractive in the least. Cate is the kind of woman other women appreciate and love (although I hope men love her too). I imagine having a conversation with Cate is erotic. When I?ve seen her in interviews, she comes across as so intelligent, so witty, but with a slightly goofy, self-deprecating vibe. She?s self-aware and cool. And I love that she isn?t messing with her face. She is one of my Forever Biscuits, and she deserves to be one of yours too.

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Mary Louise Parker. I don?t even think Mary Louise Parker is beautiful. She?s pretty, sure. But she?s more than her looks - she?s honest and funny and smart as hell and she gives great interviews. And she doesn?t care about getting naked on camera or doing raunchy sex scenes or doing sexy photo shoots. She?s just a cool chick, and I get the feeling that men fall all over her. And why not? She?s got the best attitude, and she seems like the most fun.

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Doutzen Kroes. Doutzen is my favorite model! I love her athletic body, and I love that she talks a lot about how much work it takes for her to achieve her spectacular figure. I love that she looks like she eats, I love her hair, I love her lips, and I love that in her mind, she?s just an average Dutch girl. As far as her crazy-beautiful face? don?t you think she sort of looks like the love child of Claudia Schiffer and Denise Richards? Now that I?ve said, you can?t unsee it, can you?!? Oh, and Doutzen just had a baby too! She tweeted a photo of him too. Here?s a pic of her baby, and here?s one of Doutzen with her boyfriend/baby-daddy.

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Iman. I mean, she?s a beauty icon, and a personal icon. She skin glows. She?s is ageless and timeless. She?s smart and interesting and she?s a brilliant businesswoman. And David Bowie still looks like he?s head-over-heels in love, doesn?t he? Why wouldn?t he be? She?s like? I don?t know, an old-fashion goddess, a throw-back to another era.

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Mila Kunis. I was quite in love with Mila Kunis for a while there last year. She just kept giving good interviews, and all of a sudden the slightly gawky, pretty girl turned into a bombshell. She seems really low-key and put-together, and I have my fingers crossed that she doesn?t end up with Justin Timberlake. I think she?s way too smart for that, and by all accounts, she?s shot him down multiple times. Also: I love the way the camera loves her. She?s something different in still photos - a goddess.

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Leighton Meester & Jessica Szohr. Because the two vapid, pantless blondes on Gossip Girl get too much attention. And because I have a not-so-secret affinity for haughty brunette bitches. Leighton seems adorable/sexy, while Jessica is just? gorgeous. To me, at least. I find her incredible sexy in photos.

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Archie Panjabi. By request! I?ve only seen Archie in Bend It Like Beckham (she played the older sister who was getting married) and A Mighty Heart. I keep meaning to watch The Good Wife, and I know I would enjoy it! It sounds good, and the people on it are wonderful. Anyway, Archie was a request, via Twitter. Enjoy!

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Diane Lane. I don?t even know what to say beyond: Unfaithful. You watch that, and you know. Diane is The Sex. She?s also a damn good actress. I love her and her tragic style.

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Penelope Cruz (By CB) I love Penelope?s accent and her body is to die for, even after she just had a baby. I want her hair, I want her boobs and I definitely want her husband. Maybe I want to be her husband, he is one lucky guy.

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Helen Mirren (By CB) Who can forget those incredibly hot bikini photos of dame Helen? She?s wacky, she?s sexy and her costars can?t keep their hands off her. She looks better now at 65 than she ever has and she?s in no way plastic. There?s something so elegant and sensual about Helen.

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Gemma Arterton (By CB) British Bond girl Gemma really came onto her own in Prince of Persia, where she played the breathtakingly gorgeous love interest. She?s just 25 and we?re looking forward to seeing much more of her to come.

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Heather Graham (By CB) Heather Graham is a space cadet but she?s a knockout. She got to-die for hair, big eyes and a killer body. She?s also 41, can you believe it? It almost makes me want to go? vegan.

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Tina Fey! (By CB) For our dessert we should have a comedian since it?s April Fool?s Day, but Tina definitely earns this spot. She?s so funny, she?s so deservedly successful and she hasn?t turned into a Barbie clone like so many other women in her industry. She?s prettier than her contemporaries because she?s real. She hasn?t had a boob job and she doesn?t look all Botoxy and shiny. She hasn?t dyed her hair blonde and she doesn?t bother to wear contacts most of the time. She?s hot and on the rare occasions she works it she knocks it out of the park. Most of the time she just wows us with her humor and snark, though, making us wish she would hang out with us and get drunk. Here?s to Tina, our after dinner cocktail with an unexpected kick.

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Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, the domestic and international additions of Vogue, GQ, Esquire, Allure, FHM, Maxim and Vanity Fair.

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